My-SECRET-Corner

 I can still recall that some of my female classmates ( each and every letter of their names are clearly embedded in my brains until now ) would bully me for not taking my books with me ( I forgot sometimes ! ) or wearing clean uniform to school. My fault I know coz I didn't have enough time to check my own stuffs and wash my uniform during school days or sometimes, I just simply forgot that I had spilled something on me during recess time the day before . My excuses were either I was so busy or too occupied at home doing house chores or running errands or didn't really want to wash them coz they won't dry especially when it's rainy season. So, chances are I would end up wearing the same and the same uniform top blouse & skirt for 2 days, sometimes 3 , shame but during those times what do I care ! I only had 2 sets alternating during the week!
Nevertheless, my classmates would envy me when the teachers like and appreciate my presence and participation in the class. It was so obvious that I always end up as a teacher's pet , not once but more than twice ! Geeee ...  I guess because I'm smarter than any of them ha-ha !
I remember my Home Economics teacher Ms. Ildelfonso giving me a beaded Resin choker as a reward for my good grades in her class after submitting a crocheted rose doily she had put on display in her classroom. Just too bad that I had allowed my classmate Luzviminda to borrow the graduated choker from me one day and she never returned it back . Despite of several requests to have it back, she just said she had lost the parts coz it broke accidentally. Somehow the bead's shape looks like this only with more bold colors of plain red, orange, yellow & black tubular beads alternating on the cord with screw type clasp.



Being around with rich classmates is also something I hate so much during those days. They always try to point out that I don't belong in a designated group mainly because I was so different mentally , physically and materially ~ they often say my personal things were cheap, my shoes were old and with holes, my books had torn out pages without any cover , my snacks were not packed nicely like theirs , that I hardly attended any school field trips ( father won't allow us to participate in those kind of activities for financial reasons ) ,  that I was fat and my face is as round as an airport ... blah-blah-blah . Oh well, I just ignored all their abusive behaviours until one very memorable day , I snapped out of the blue and hit the leader of the pact who's the daughter of the Superintendent of the City Schools of Manila. Ooooppppsss!  I was not scared of who she was anyway. She can do what she wants, she can say what she wants but she has no right to tell me that I looked like a beggar coz I don't have a responsible mother taking care of me ! That's it , no one talks anything negative about my mom ... they have no right to say so ! Hearing that from her, I suddenly saw everything in black & white with flying stars and I just raised my hand . Sure enough that it landed straight unto her face ! Bingo ! She was stunned ...

May is the fifth month of the year in the Gregorian Calendar and one of seven Gregorian months with the length of 31 days. It is also a month within the northern season of spring.
this is the month when Mother's Day became a public holiday on May 9, 1914.

Mother's Day was first observed in 1908. It was designated by Presidential proclamation, and was recognized officially by Congress and the President in 1914. It is celebrated in honor of Mothers on the second Sunday of May.

Mother's Day is a special day for everyone! We use this day to honor our mothers all over the world!


I'm happy I still have my mother around to share things with. To you mom and all the other mother's out there, this poem is just for you ...

A Mother's Love


There are times when only a Mother's love
Can understand our tears,
Can soothe our disappoints
And calm all of our fears.
There are times when only a Mother's love
Can share the joy we feel
When something we've dreamed about
Quite suddenly is real.
There are times when only a Mother's faith
Can help us on life's way
And inspire in us the confidence
We need from day to day.
For a Mother's heart and a Mother's faith
And a Mother's steadfast love
Were fashioned by the Angels
And sent from God above.

~Author Unknown ~




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May Quotation
Then came fair May, the fairest maid on ground,
Deck'd all with dainties of the season's pride,
And throwing flowers out of her lap around.
~Edmund Spenster ~

 
Lilium bulbiferum

Only few minutes from now , April would be moving away .  Without any choice or option , a new beginning would be here for all of us. The New month of May. I'm not sure if I should be happy or not to see the new month coming my way since some problems from previous month of April were not totally solved yet. When & How I will have the answers to all my problems ... I don't have any idea . No one knows what lies ahead on our lives ayway.Good things can never be good if there are no bad things we can compare and associate  it with. As Chinese people say , Yin always come with Yang or vice versa . There is a perception (especially in the West) that yin and yang correspond to good and evil.

Although , somehow in some ways I should be feeling more happy & lucky realizing I'm still here and able to see another day & time . Whether they bring happiness or more heartaches to bear , only thing I can say is bring them on. Life is worth living only when we could overcome things no matter what they are and what they bring.

Well Anyway, that's basically all my opinion for my personal part.

Although in general, what's here to know really for the Month of May ?

 Emerald derived from the word "smaragdus," meaning green in Greek via the Old French 'esmeralde', was mined in Egypt as early as 330 BC. Today, most of the world's emeralds are mined in Colombia, Brazil and Zambia. This stone is believed to empower the owner with foresight into the future, good fortune, youth and rebirth.

The Emerald ~ is a member of the beryl family of minerals. The green crystals grow slowly within metamorphic rocks and are restricted in size by the rock, making large Emeralds rare and costly. Although this gemstone is relatively hard and durable, it must be protected from blows because the inclusions found within make it susceptible to breaking.

 " The green of life and of love " ~ The green of the emerald is the colour of life and of the springtime, which comes round again and again. But it has also, for centuries, been the colour of beauty and of constant love. In ancient Rome, green was the colour of Venus, the goddess of beauty and love. And today, this colour still occupies a special position in many cultures and religions.

" A sophisticated gemstone  " ~ Whilst its good hardness protects the emerald to a large extent from scratches, its brittleness and its many fissures can make cutting, setting and cleaning rather difficult. Even for a skilled gem cutter, cutting emeralds presents a special challenge, firstly because of the high value of the raw crystals, and secondly because of the frequent inclusions. However, this does not detract from the cutters' love of this unique gem. Indeed, they have developed a special cut just for this gem: the emerald cut. The clear design of this rectangular or square cut with its bevelled corners brings out the beauty of this valuable gemstone to the full, at the same time protecting it from mechanical strain.

" The World's Famous Emeralds "

The two most famous emeralds are the Devon shire and the Patricia. The Devon shire is a 1383.95-carat, uncut Colombian crystal of fine green color. It was given to the sixth Duke of Devon shire by Emperor Dom Pedro I of Brazil in 1831. It is on permanent loan to the British Museum of Natural History.



The superb clarity and deep green color of the 37.82-carat Chalk Emerald ranks among the very finest Columbian emeralds. According to legend, it was once the centerpiece of an emerald and diamond necklace belonging to a maharani of the former state of Baroda in India.
It originally weighed 38.40 carats, but was recut and set in a ring, where it is surrounded by sixty pear-shaped diamonds (totalling 15 carats), by Harry Winston Inc. The ring was a gift to the Smithsonian Institute by Mr. and Mrs. O. Roy Chalk in 1972. Source: The National Gem Collection by Jeffrey E. Post.


When Emerald is the Birthstone For May, on the other hand,
the Birth Flower is the Lily ( Lilium )

The genus Lilium are herbaceous flowering plants growing from bulbs. The Lily flower symbolizes purity and refined beauty. Based on the colour or type, the Lily flower can convey different meanings.

Thanks again Jackie & Jamie for these beautiful flowers ! 

I was looking for my one-and-only high school photo taken in 1981 ( which I badly needed so I can show to an old high school classmate of mine whom I just found recently in Facebook  ) when I stumbled upon my "NORDSTROM" bangle I had already forgotten about . Gee ... it's been so long and I had not seen the set for several years. It was a combination of White / Gold Plated metal with Pave' diamond-like Crystal stones . It was truly a sparkling Crystals enncrusted set given as a gift back in 1993 when I was in the Philippines.

The Silver-grey toned box had faded thru time. It was rusty from the inside-out . That you may notice from the photo above. Nevertheless, the bangle and earrings were still shiny eventhough the bangle had a broken lock while some of the Crystal stones were gone. The bangle's lock was broken  a long time ago .The broken latch can't be joined again with any kind of glue ( I tried so many times but failed ! Sigh ... ) . I still remember the day when I desperately want to save this piece that I took  it to a jewelry shop one day . Hoping much that the broken parts can still be attached together , welded or soldered back  in shape. Unfortunately, the jewelry repair man shook his head and nodded upon seeing the broken piece. He couldn't save it since the bangle was't made of neither Silver or real Gold metal at all. The part can't be melted or soldered he said. That very moment , I was greatly saddened by the fact that my bangle was beyond repair. Although it can't be used at all , I had kept it inside my drawers due to its sentimental value !

Now that I found it again, I had decided  that by hook or by crook, I'll resurrect the bangle myself. But There must be a way to have it fixed. Then , big question is ... How to fix it ? With what ?

I don't want to throw the bangle away just like that....for sure a big, big " NO"! However, I can't wear it at all  except only for its matching earrings ! My mind started thinking for a solution at 4am in the morning. Time was ticking and my eyes are getting droopy and I'm so tired imagining the time. Way passed my bed time ... yeah . it's too late ... . But despite of the odds , I grabbed my Pliers, Swarovski Crystal's Box, took out a roll of Gauge 22 Gold color non tarnish beading wires , a set of  Magnetic clasps and few pieces of 4mm Bicone crystal Beads in Golden Shadow and Clear Crystal shades to match the existing color of the bangle.

After choosing and laying all the necessary materials infront of me , I slowly started stringing all the crystal beads into the wire and I finally  began wire-wrapping  around the plain metal side of the bangle. Quite tricky but I was able to see that I was putting a new design around the bangle. Wow ... this is challenging !  No soldering needed to resolve the broken latch issue. Once I had reached tle broken lock area I made 2 loops . 1 loop each on both ends and then attached a set of gold plated magnetic clasp at the tips to secure and keep the 2 sides joined together securely. Aha ... so that's the trick I made to keep the bangle close ! Great idea isn't it ?

The addition of Swarovski Crystals on the wire-wrapped side even added more ba-ba-bling to the piece and looked very radiant indeed. Voila !

So now, who would dare say my bangle is beyond repair and ready for the garbage can ? Ho-ho-ho ... I had beaten the odds again ... YESSSS !
I'm happy that this bangle didn't end up in my trash can at all. Smart thinkin on my part !
 I'm very glad that I got it fixed in just about 20-25 mins. ... with no sweat and best of all with out that much cost ! 
Now it looks much more unique than ever before too !

 A Story Of The Past ...

Back in the 90's , when I was single handedly raising 2 young children, I was destitute.  My eldest child happened to be diagnosed with a mega-colon problem upon birth and required a lot of medical check ups and operations for her Colostomy . Trying to make both ends meet, I worked in the city and left the kids under my mother's care and come home during the weekends..

 I met a guy by accident one night while I was at work. With a bunch of ladyfriends around me, we were teasing each other when suddenly , I saw this skinny guy in his fifties. So well dressed in his Navy Blue & white striped crumple free long sleeves shirt &  black casual pants , looking so well armed to the teeth . The  oozing smell of his expensive perfume in all directions as he approaches  the bar for a drink.
Out of nowhere, words just came out of my mouth and I said : "  Here comes grandpa with his stash of cash in  his handpouch looking for his cinderella for a bride. Maybe looking for one of you girls ! "
We all laughed so loud that he looked our way and started smiling to our group. We all then looked at each other and stopped laughing but still giggling inside for the dirty joke. I said : " Oh no, I think he had heard what I said .... " so I was so embarrased ! Seeing him walking towards me , I got so uneasy & a bit scared of what would happen next. I was about to turn my back not until he said to me - " Errr ... Excuse me lady ... "
 I said : " Yes , Sir?  Can I help you ? " with nervousness making both my feet twist uncontrollably  from side to side in horor !
He said : " I'm about to say ... that ... "
I said with trembling sound in my voice and my eyes ready to pop out  :  " Ah, say what sir ? " My eyes were looking helplessly for a friend to come & rescue me ! OMG , I told myself ! I'm surely dead !
He then said :  " I Like your smile ! So pretty ..."

Oh gosh ! ... I was breathless when he told me that . Quite a relief  even after knowing my girlfriends I had around had slowly dissappeared one by one when he came up to me. Although I was left all alone to attend to him , I had no choice but to face him and continue having conversation with him as I continue with my job. I was a waitress / part-time cashier during those times and talking to clients is part of my job to keep people coming back.
After talking to him for few minutes, he told me that I don't match the place where I work. He said that I spoke English well and I look very smart. He asked me why I was working there and not in a bank or other higher end careers. I simply told him : " My daughter is sick and I need money fast , no matter what ! "
He asked me : " Where is she ? Who's watching over her while you are here ? "
 I replied : " I go home to the province to see my 2 children under my mother's care only during weekends . I'm a single mother ! "
"what's wrong with your sick child ?... I would like to see and meet them if you permit. " He said.
I was so totally amazed with how seriously he told me that. I said to myself ... this guy is not giving up on me so easily. As a test, I told him come back on the weekend and we will travel by bus for 2 hours to get to the province. He simply said ok .
Weekdays passed and I didn't see ay trace of him. I told myself he was just joking that I didn't expect he would be coming back ever. Who would bother to travel and see my kids aside from me anyway ? To my total surprise and amazement, he was there during Friday evening after my work ready to travel with me. Oh God !... he was dead serious really ! I got so nervous even more !

 I didn't want to create any stir being with a foreign guy in the bus ( especially being twice my age ) so I brought along another girlfirend to come along and travel with us. It's the only way I would be comfortable with a total stranger with all those staring suspicious eyes of the passengers in the bus. Assured at least that I'm not alone and I have a witness that we're not doing anything wrong.

Anyway, the trip to the province made him realize the truth I was talking about when we met the 1st night. He saw my 4 years old daughter with her bleeding stomach due to colostomy running towards me when we arrived in my rented room. My 3 year old son was crawling under our dining table to hide from us. After meeting my kids, my mom and my family members, he became closer to us. It was like we were destined to be in contact with each other! He would visit whenever he's in town and would always invite me for dinner so he can check if I had cut my very long hair.


How he loves my long hair !
 He would always slighlty tap my hand , even my  forehead whenever I say I need to cut the ends to get rid of split-ends. He told me that I should not touch it . My hair was my greatest asset aside from my good heart he said . He constantly advised me to be careful about guys I meet. They'll all try to jump into my bones he said. He always warned me to be very careful for the sake of my children. He loved & cared for my children a lot too.

Without hesitation , he even voluntarily sponsored my daughter's final major operation , down to the very last cent . It was hefty. Closing her colostomy for good after almost 5 long years of suffering from it had cost a lot of money. He shouldered all the medical expenses and all other hospital bills. I can still picture the moments when him and I were running the streets of Manila , jumping in and out of a taxi , going in several hospitals at midnight looking for a 1000 cc bag of blood needed for my daughters' emergency operation . How concerned he was with the time being consumed and quality of blood we would take back to the hospital where my daughter was waiting in the Intensive Care Unit ( ICU ). She was running a very high fever ( a very bad sign ) and operation has to be done as soon as the blood comes in and got screened. He was a total angel for all his help. If not for all his assistance, my daughetr Barbie wouldn't make it till the morning ... not even until to this day.


He was heaven sent ! I was very thankful for everything !
 For all he had done for me and my children that no one else had ever done so far ...

 I always remember the time when he told me :
 " How I wish you are my real daughter ... I would be the happiest father ! "
After years of being his friend he told me many things about his life. His wife. His girlfriend ( he's only human I know! ) who goes in-out of a psychiatric ward due to depression after he had told her that he's decided to go back to his real wife back in Australia . His 6 adopted children. How unhappy he was with some of his adopted children who didn't grow up the way he expected them to be. Some guys were in & out of jail. some of the women were battered wives. They gave him and his wife so many domestic & financial problems. They had given them not joy but too much trouble. Poor him and his wife I said to myself !

 He told me that I was better than any of his adopted children. Since I work hard for my family and I sacrifce myself a lot. How he admired my persona as a whole, strenght and determination to live and how I endure all the emotional & physical pains just to give my kids and family members a good life. These are the reasons he said that made me so special and dear to him !

Imagine, Nothing in Return ... he would constantly tell me that he's always happy to help me and that I  need nothing to pay him back. Only words he told me to keep in mind is ~It doesn't cost anything to be nice to people!  Offer as much help as you could give only to people who help & respect other people & themselves . That I should do what he did for me to others in the future whenever I get the chance ( That's fair enough I told myself ). He told me that when it's the time I'm ready to settle down , got a stable job and had found someone to marry, he will vanish in my life slowly. Which he did actually before when my husband & I got married in 1998. I told my hubby everything about him beforehand and my husband had met him by chance in a Dutch owned bar & restaurant in Manila. I was about 4-5 months pregnant with my daughter Tacha at that time while he was there with his long time girlfiend ( I finally had a glimpse of her for the very 1st time ) . He was proud and happy for me and my husband. I only saw him next with pure luck about 9 years later in the airport when I was travelling to Phuket to catch up with my husband. What a coincidence ! That was in April of 2007. That was the last time I saw him . Nine months later, after that meeting in Changi Airport, his wife thru his email address sent me a a short message in my email ( Jan. 1, 2008 ) saying :

" Please don't  reply nor send anymore emails to this address.
Our beloved Don had left us. he's now in the arms of the Lord ..."

I was shocked !
I almost fell out of my chair that morning !
 It was the very 1st email message I have for the year 2008 !
 I found out that he had died of a heart attack in Australia few days ago in December of 2007.
I felt so bad . His death brought me so much sadness on the very 1st day of the year 2008. Not a good way to start the new year huh !
It was on a Sunday and hubby / kids were all at home. I couldn't show them my tears so I just quietly cried inside My-SECRET-Corner ... the beadroom . That was the day I fell on our bathroom floor after slipping on a wet floor. I was rushed to the hospital only 3 hours later after fI felt I couldn't move my right leg due to my swollen back and some contusions on my arms. I thought to myself ... was he trying to take me with him too ?

I miss his advices , his fatherly love, his moral support that had guided me whenever I was down and needed a shoulder to cry on - whether due to problems about my family , my kids or about my marriage going down the drain.
I miss all the ways he cared for me . All his patience ... all his concern ...
 I will miss him in my heart forever. That I'm sure...
 Hope I will see him again somewhere ... somehow ... someday .

To You My Dearest Friend ,
Your words ,
Your deeds ,
shall never be forgotten ;
no matter what was left for me in this world
your kindness and pure love would be spread
as you had wished me to do ...
Wherever You are now,

May Your Loving Soul Do Rest in Peace Forever ... 




Recommended For Reading :
~ This Novel was based on a True Story ~

 

I am very grateful always for all people - women  or  men who had trusted me when it comes to my passion ~ Beading .

I had been receiving calls for Beading tutorials for their kids and for them as well. It's very interesting to see that fellow Filipinos who are expats here in Singapore are willing to learn and explore more about the craft.

Not only Filipios but even locals and other expats are asking me to teach and let them learn the techniques I had gathered throughout the years while making beaded jewelries .

Not so easy to let them learn everything in a short period of time coz it requires so much of your time, patience , perseverance and commitmet to the craft. I had been beading my craft for so many years now and I  had started from scratch just like most of the people doing handicrafts only during their spare time. Mine was a self taught endeavor which came to recognition only after a few years of hardwork and of finally letting myself out of the cocoon that had enveloped me inside my home during the last 11 years I'd been here in Singapore. My kids had grown up and my ever reliable help in the house gave me more chances to socialize and expand my network of friends. Now I'm more able to do much better things aside from house chores. Happy that I can do what I want to do for myself  now , finally & at last !

 Teaching gives me a matter of respect for every student I meet and also gaining respect for & from others as well as for myself. Communication and bonding with each and evryone of them give me enormous amount of joy and pride especially upon seeing  their creations they came up with my simple help & guidance.

Interested to join a beading lesson ? Please email me at :

THANKS FOR VISITING !!!